Goodbye 2015 all the tears and disappointments, all the shocks and horrors that went with it .
Goodbye 2015 all the changes be they slow and hard but worth the effort
Hello 2016 and to new opportunities although scary beyond belief.
It is time to step up and claim my life back. To live, love and dream again.
Since Oct 2015 I have been bouncing around weight wise … as low as 163kg and high as 168kg
Praise God I never hit 170kg again
I have been very disappointed in the fact that I didn’t lose a MASSIVE amount of weight in 2015 after the Gastric Sleeve, but having said that I need to be kind to myself
I was doing amazingly till march when a horrific event hit Ross and I and I coped well until April then I didn’t follow the rules anymore and didn’t count my protein and limit my carbs and the weight just stopped coming off
Now having said that before the GS I would have gained weight ….no doubt at all
- I have come off the big BP meds and stayed off them
- I have come off the insulin and now only on a tablet ( which I am determined to get rid of )
- I have gone from 450mg of antidepressant a day to 150mg a day and the only reason I am still on that is because Jj is starting school and I know I am struggling big time with that and I don’t want to go backwards I will get rid of it in about April
- I have gone to kids school things, I have shopped on my own
- This week I deep cleaned my house ( yes Ross and kids helped but I did a lot) then the next day I did 5 hrs in the garden ( haven’t done either in over 5 years)
So many other things that have happened but so much more could happen
So having said that it is time to step this up a notch. Time to finish what has been started.
Jj is starting big school at the beginning of Feb and I am so uptight about it. I know she will be brilliant but I will miss her so very much.
It will be the first time in 23 years that I haven’t had a baby/child at home with me …. I am going to be feeling quite lost, the fact Ross doesn’t want more kids breaks my heart but it means I have to find myself…. not hid behind babies…. I have to find out who I am and get myself back.
This of course doesn’t mean I am not going to be a mother anymore but it means I have to find myself and love myself in order to be a good mother and wife.
It is time to lose this weight and work on getting myself better.
soon enough there will be weddings and grandchildren and I want to do a better job at that then I have done at being a mum so far.
If I said I wasn’t sad or was looking forward to this time in my life I would be lying.
I am so sad and scared at this next phase in life….
I know I will be spending some quality time with my mum and deepening the relationship we have as I haven’t been “present” due to depression and I need to spend time with her before it is too late.
No she isn’t dying but she is 65 and if the next 25yrs go as fast as then last 25yrs then I will be at the stage where she won’t be able to do all the things we enjoy.
Ross and I will be celebrating 25 years of marriage this Sept and I want to be able to enjoy the time and look back on it fondly not cringing and crying cause I didn’t feel my best.
He has been such a rock and blessing over the last 25years looking after me and the kids thru my depression and he deserves to have a wife he would be proud to take out.
Beginning of Feb is my nieces wedding and I want to look nice and I want to feel like I have made a difference in my weight…. not sure what my goal is for the next 4 weeks but I need to seriously look at that
lastly (I think) I am going back to being blonde… I went dark and it was a change but I certainly don’t like the look of me dark and it shows the grey so much faster.
Ok think that is it .
Hope to do this blogging daily but will see what happens.
Might try and leave you with some pics of my family 🙂
Jj during the Christmas Service, didn’t have a mirror so used my phone lol
Sorry its so large don’t know how to make it smaller