I know I have gone more than missing in action.
I have been very severely depressed.
A Dr in Nov changed my meds which sent me in a tailspin I then had them changed back which also sent me in a tailspin.
Then I decided going on the pill would be a OK idea, the thought was that it would regulate my hormones enough for the depressants to work a bit better and lose some weight which in turn would help the depression, Ahhh Nahh I had the same reaction to it I did 20 years ago , send me tropo and depressed and suicidal.
So I came off it and will never touch it again…
So I am having good days and bad days…..anxiety levels are very high and that is not good.
Ross’ 50th birthday today. We have a dinner with the church and besides having the two little ones with croup and me having caught it …. I am having panic attacks and don’t want to go.
I believe I am starting to get bronchitis too so this is not helping the weight loss.
Was up all night with a migraine
I know whinge whinge whinge.
I rejoined WW on Thursday and honestly haven’t stuck to it at all….
I think it is the depression.
Hit my highest ever 183.7kg (dressed weight)
I have to do this I know I do
I don’t want to leave behind 7 kids and a husband
I don’t want Ross to go thru life all by himself
I want to be healthy, Physically and mentally.
I want to enjoy life
I want to join in life with Ross and kids
I want to be free
I want to live
Truly am starting to get sick of hating my self