Went to see the specialist last week. I had to lose 10kg in order to do the op.
I lost 1kg. Basically the dr said you can lose the 10kg and transform your life or you can continue the way you are going and die early it is your choice.
So I came home and did what I always do …..eat…..and eat and gained all the weight that I lost on the shakes.
I then decided I was too scared to do the op so I would do low carb till I lose all the weight I have to lose.
Well that didn’t go to well either.
I just don’t feel strong enough.
Today I decided to give going to the shops with Ross a go…. I got as far as the carpark and saw how many people there were and that they could all look at me and decided I would stay in the car.
This made me very upset I cant shop, I cant clean my house, I cant play with my kids.
My nephew got engaged today and thinking of him and my other nephew who got engaged last month I will have engagement parties, weddings, 21st and even my own son in getting quiet serious with his girlfriend all these things scare me to be my size I have nothing to wear, scared the chairs will break that people will stare at me etc
So I decided I am going to do the operation…..don’t really want to but need to …. I want to garden and sew again I want my life back.
So come Monday it is back on the horrible shakes
3 weeks till see specialist again…… need to lose 13kg …….wonder if I can do it