Soulmate has a blog now … I think he is enjoying it too.
Just thought it would be nice to give him a bit of a moment in glory hehehee
As you can tell I haven’t been posting.
I haven’t been posting cause, I can’t post if I am not doing anything towards my goal of losing weight.
Why am I not doing anything
Cause I have been trying for a baby……yes number 7…..yes some of you, most of you think I am crazy, and funnily enough I don’t mind.
I was upset so he said ok we will see what happens, a bit later he said one more wouldn’t be bad you have till June 09 if u haven’t fallen by then we will say 6 is the number.
Prob is with feeding blue eyes, I never got a cycle till I gave up feeding and then it was June…. so Soul mate as lovely as he is gave me till Sept 09
Still didn’t happen and my PND was a lot worse at that time ….. so he decided he would extend it till Dec09 (we agreed that we would try for fun to have a due date of 10/10/10) well that is now….
Hence the reason I haven’t been concentrating or trying or thinking of losing weight …. I have been obsessing over falling preg,
according to my charts I am due for TTOM next week.. ( i would normally be 3 days overdue now)
Have done some Preg tests and they are neg, I guess it could be early still but I am devastated
Soul mate does not want to change his mind and I do understand his reasons…. He is 10yrs older than me and doesn’t want to be changing nappies at 50
I get it !!!! I do
It just doesn’t stop my heart from breaking……
You know when you have a dream and your whole heart and soul goes into it …..
This dream I breathed, I lived, I slept it …. I wanted another baby … I wanted just one more. I felt there was always one more baby to come from my womb and join our family and then adopt a couple of kids to join and make our family complete.
My head tells me it is Ok ….you can lose your weight now focus on that….
But to be honest … I don’t want to …. i want to be thin, I want to enjoy life, wear nice clothes etc but my heart isn’t there….my heart is with the baby , the baby I am never going to have.
So where do I go from here….????
How do I change my goals, my dreams?
How do I get past my fears, fears that paralyse me?
Well there you have it all ……the reason for my silence, my dreams, my hearts desires and what I am truly struggling with …….Can’t be even more transparent than that.
Yes I have been missing in action…heaps going on….
But I just thought you would enjoy some photos of my tribe yesterday on my birthday
Also a photo of my little blue eyes with chicken pox poor boy….broke out in them yesterday….happy birthday mum
except the one on his cheek was the day before.
I trust all are well and I am hoping to get some free time soon
Take care all
I tell you this week, well school holidays have flown.
I haven’t had time to post and I miss it
We have decided not to sell…. I don’t think it would be a very wise or cost effective thing to do right now.
I also feel like God is telling me to suck it up and deal with the ppl down the road, who have been mentally upsetting me for over 3 years.
So I am staying here…..going to get a fence out the front and do a few reno’s I want to get done and life will be sweet.
Been concentrating on the other project in my life at the moment which has been taking up quite a bit of my time…… Hope it all comes together real soon.
Other than that really nothing on at all…….
Blueeeyes has been very sick with a horrible cough (almost a cross between whooping cough and pnemoniua)
Hard to believe Feral one is going to start Prep at the end of the year.
Lastly I lost 1.1kg this week ….. I am very pleased with that.
I am posting from my phone no big deal u say…. Except that I can’t for some reason see what I type so I hope this isn’t too bad but I do hope u get a chucklee out of it.
Not much to report I will post my loss in the morning yes it was a loss but I don’t want it to get lost in the translation
Will try to post in the morning
Yep, I made these as a treat for a friend who had just a had litlle baby girl.
Soulmate and the cherubs loved them.
So I made more…….Ahhhhh yummy….but since they have condensed milk and other goodies in them …well you get the drift.
Yes I will try to resist but not sure honestly if I can ….
I mean I woke 3 times thru the night with cravings for them …..lol…..no I didn’t eat them then ….but man it was bad.
Going out for dinner tonight to celebrate my Dad’s special day.
Other than that I think this week is quite.
I am trying to get round to blogging so I hope I will get to it